Eingewöhnung

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September 1st… Fall seems to be arriving early in this neck of the woods. And school starts even earlier, in early August. Axel has now been attending a Krippe (daycare) part-time for almost a month.

It’s a pretty big change for him (and for me!), but they have a whole process that they go through here called Eingewöhnung (“acclimatization” or “familiarization”), which is a 2-week transitory period during which one of the parent is expected to be available and stay with the child, at least for the first few days. Perhaps they have something similar in the US or France? I have no idea, this is all new to me.

So the first day of school, parents (sometimes both parents) stay in a corner, trying to be as passive as possible, while the children explore their new surroundings and the Erzieherinnen (educators) go on a charm offensive to get the kids to warm up to them quickly. This goes on for a couple of hours, then that’s it for the day. On the third or fourth day, parents try going away for 15-20 minutes to see how each child reacts to being left with the educators. If there are tears, they try to comfort the kids, and if that doesn’t work, then the parent is brought back in and they try it again the next day.

The following week, the kids stay for a bit longer and the parents “disappear” for longer periods of time, until both educators and parents agree to try leaving the child for the entire time. Of course some parents simply can’t take time off to go through this process, so some kids have to deal with the new reality pretty abruptly. Also, reactions seem to vastly differ from child to child. Some kids understand the awful truth quickly and resist strongly, and spend a lot of time crying.

Others, like Axel, seem to whine mostly when their mothers are within sight, and apparently turn into complete angels when somebody else is in charge. So even though Axel is the youngest of the group (or maybe because of this) he’s adapted very quickly and has adopted the educators (and the new toys) without much fuss. Right now there are only 5 babies for 2 educators and an intern (a young man, Axel is best buddies with him already) — I’m told they are expecting 3 or 4 more children before the end of the year.

So all in all this has gone very smoothly. Axel doesn’t seem fazed by a third language being added to his day-to-day. The only problem we have is that he is forced to skip his morning nap, so he tends to be very tired when I pick him up. But I know all is well because when I drop him off in the mornings, he jumps out of my arms and excitedly toddles off without a look back… A page has definitely turned!

7 bites per year

They say a kid gets bitten an average of 7 times a year in daycare. But they also say you swallow an average of 8 spiders per year while you are sleeping.

Now that Axel is fully mobile and ready to conquer the world, we have been eager to find him a spot in some kind of daycare setting, where he could spend a bit of time with other children and adults and give a break to his poor mother.

Staying at home for at least the first year of your child’s life is a common cultural expectation in Germany, but for many parents, the choice is made for them. In Germany, only about 60% of women with children work outside the home vs. 80% in France. Finding a public daycare spot for children under 1 is extremely difficult. Finding a spot before they are 3 isn’t a piece of cake either. People sometimes have to use more expensive private daycare centers, often with a religious affiliation (though those are often fully-booked as well) or a so-called Tagesmutter (childminder/nanny), who cares for a handful of children at home, but again, vacancies are hard to come by and not everyone can afford this option.

Since we are in former East Germany, it ought to be easier to find childcare, because back in GDR days mothers were expected to work and the infrastructures are still in place for today’s parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, in the East, 36% of children under 3 are in daycare, vs only 3% in the West! Unfortunately for us, Greifswald is seemingly an exception to this, probably because it has in recent years attracted many young families and the number of daycares hasn’t kept up. I was turned down by every single daycare I contacted (one was offering to put Axel on a waiting list for September… 2013! Gasp! And I know waiting lists can be even longer). Finally, rather miraculously, one of them contacted me back and said they did have one spot after all for August, and did I want it? You betcha! I crossed my fingers that the daycare center would be decent enough, and …. after a visit and a thumbs up by Axel (he was extremely interested by everything), it’s a go! This is the place that he will attend in August:

First I will have to go to city hall and apply for the daycare hours that my particular situation entitles me to. Since I’m not working, I will be able to get no more than 4 hours/day (which is a bit of a Catch-22… The way I see it, I can’t show proof of a full-time job unless I have full-time care, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there). At the very least I’ll be able to sign up for some German classes, which I sorely need. For those who are curious, the cost will be 100 Euros a month plus the cost of lunch (about 40 Euros a month). Coming from the US, this seems like a complete bargain of course.

Germany realizes things must change and is in the process of implementing new laws that would garantee a daycare spot to any child over 1 (how that will happen logistically is anyone’s guess). Right now, any child who is at least 3 years of age is guaranteed a spot. The idea is to boost the historically low birth rate and help poorer families by making it easier for parents who work to find care for their children. One way to do this is to develop state daycares. Another way is to help make up for the lost wages that a parent experiences when they stay home to care for their child.

And this will be the subject of the next post! Stay tuned.